The Trench Reynolds Report

  • Dio’s Next Album

    The god of all things metal Ronnie James Dio has issued a proclamation stating that he will record his next album next year. I am sure it will be a flawless masterpiece.

    Trench Reynolds

  • Dio to star in movie

    Dio For Tenacious D’s Movie: The one true metal god Ronnie James Dio will make his acting debut in Tenacious D’s new movie. While I am not a fan of Jack Black I like Tenacious D. This movie shall rock and it shall be good. He’ll probably win an Oscar.

    Trench Reynolds

  • Interview with a Metal god

    This is a great interview with the god of all things metal, Ronnie James Dio. He talks about the possibility of Magica II and the next Hear ‘N Aid. Be careful though. Some of the other things on the site are not safe for work (NSFW). So if you’re in the comfort of your own…

    Trench Reynolds

  • Discovery Follow Up

    In a follow-up to our discovery that Ronnie James Dio runs the world, Agent Stig Mata brings us the news that Miss America 2004 has also joined the Illuminati. Long Live Rock and Roll.

    Trench Reynolds