The 2012 Trenchie Awards

trench5

12-years in a row people. That’s dedication. Anyway, on to the show.

Best Movie: The Dark Knight Rises. Best movie of the trilogy and possibly the best comic book movie ever. Avengers was ok but the middle of the movie bored the crap out of me while TDKR had me hanging on every second.

Worst Movie: The Amazing Spider-Man. Possibly the worst cast movie of all time. The only casting they got right was Emma Stone as Gwen Stacy. The story was bland and there was little to no action at all in this movie.

Best Album: This was a tough choice to make so I won’t make one. It’s actually a tie this year between “The Strange Case of…” by Halestorm and “The Electric Age” by Overkill. Halestorm is a great band fronted by the talented Lzzy Hale that actually rocks. Pure rock and roll by Halestorm and they’ve matured as a band with their second release. And Overkill keeps producing the best thrash known to mankind. No worst album this year.

Best TV Show: Arrow. A great action-packed show based on a B-List superhero but Arrow delivers the goods and has plenty of hidden comic geek references to keep me coming back. I mean so far there’s been Deadshot, Deathstroke, and The Huntress. What’s not cool about that? Also as far as animated goes I highly recommend TRON: Uprising. No worst TV this year either.

Best Comic: The Incredible Hulk. I really liked the juxtaposition of roles with Hulk being the victim and Banner being the insane one. Notable mention goes to The Punisher for a great storyline with his female apprentice.

Worst Comics: It’s a tie between most of the New 52 and Marvel NOW!. Marvel says don’t call it a reboot. Fuck you. It’s a reboot.

Best OS: New category folks. I’m getting even geekier in my old age. Anyway, the winner is Voyager. This is a French distro based on Xubuntu that is not only chock full of eye candy but comes preloaded with a cubic ass-ton of useful software.

Worst OS: Windows 8. Holy hell what were they thinking? I refuse to use an OS that looks like 1970s industrial carpeting. Tablets are for kids.

Dumbasses of 2012: I’d like to say it would be the media for the misinformation they put out about the Aurora and Sandy Hook shootings but that would be too easy. Instead, even though I don’t like to give them any more attention, it would have to be the ‘Holmies’. These are the idiot teen girl murder groupies on Tumblr who think that the Aurora gunman James Holmes is dreamy.

Most Inane Political Agenda of 2012: A late entrant but I have to give it to NRA President Wayne LaPierre for even remotely insinuating that Sandy Hook had anything do with video games. How many times does this myth need to debunked? Hell, I don’t think that even he who shall not be named, not Voldemort, even said that about Sandy Hook.

Biggest Jackass Celebrity of 2012: Johnny Depp for being the world’s richest murder groupie. Much like 2011’s winner Peter Jackson, Depp also got matching tattoos with convicted child killer Damien Echols. Not only that but it was a tattoo that Echols himself supposedly designed. I imagine it looks like something a high school stoner would scrawl on their notebooks.

That’s it for this year kids. As always don’t be a statistic tonight and we’ll see you again in another year.

6 thoughts on “The 2012 Trenchie Awards”

  1. really? not even an honorable mention for House of Gold and Bones? there’s something wrong with you. you’re on crack or something, aren’t you?

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  2. Worst Movie: West of Memphis (for obvious reasons)
    Best Album: Honorable Mention- El Camino by The Black Keys
    Dumbasses of 2012: I can’t believe you didn’t mention WM3 supporters (since you’ve done so many articles).
    Best TV Show: Sons of Anarchy. Honorable Mention- The Walking Dead.
    Everything else looked pretty spot on Trench. Happy New Year!

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